A few things help me deal patiently with my 2 year old when he is in (not so) rare form.
Understanding Toddler Psychology
They want what they want when they want it. They are not yet able to fully communicate what they want, but they want it BAD. They have no impulse control yet. They have not yet mastered patience and delaying gratification. They are still learning their own biological signals. All of this makes for a VERY frustrating experience. They lose control of their emotions and this can actually frighten them, adding even more to the emotional upset. Its like a feedback loop they can’t get out of. What they need from you is strength. They need to see that you are in control of your emotions, you are calm and eventually that will be calming. They need to feel that you empathize, but you can have empathy without giving in.
This Too Shall Pass
It can be incredibly frustrating to deal with at times, but it won’t be this way forever. At least tantrums won’t always take this form. But now they are still small enough to lift up and remove when all else fails.
You’re a good mom.